Mi vida errante

cha cháaaan

sábado, junio 16, 2007

Para los que realmente quieran saber

I'll write my whole vacation later, but soon. By now I'll only describe this night's feelings. English? Yes, pocho English, it warranties that this will be read only by those who really want to know. The others will avoid it, reading a bad English is a little less comfortable than reading Spanish. Even using babelfish it is not that easy.

Here, in the left

I came to Cordoba three days. Today I went to a party in La Ruina. We were five in the table, there were other friends in another, very close from us.

You know, little brownie friend, I like you, well, you don't know it. I really appreciated you, and I still do. The point is that I can perceive you don't like me. Today I realized that, for you, I'm like a left zero. Yes, here in the left, I can see some things that give me the whole reason or a big part of it. Yes, those things like don't get an answer to an sms (ever or only in a very little part of the probability opportunities) or to a call (you don't even take my calls) can give me some part of the reason; but being like a stranger in the same table you are, is quite more sad, yes, a stranger only for you: the other four in this table, and the other ten in the other table, and a lot more people felt warmer than you. Stranger? Of course, here in the left side watching you asking for photographs with the other two people (when the fourth friend has gone) and not even one in this side can give me some reason. Photos?, but that is nothing... Well, if I can count my face in five photos I may be overestimating the number. Avoiding my eyes is another sign, whenever our sights got crossed, you turned your head to another direction, the thing is that, the other twelve (maybe more, maybe less) people whose eyes got found with my eyes, didn't avoid them.

It's not sad because I like you, is sad because I really appreciate you as a friend; you don't know, but you may know a lot of things others don't, things about me and my life. Well, maybe you don't know such things, you may have forgotten them: the things from the left side are not important. My mistake, I'm very stupid, sometimes, when I choose the people I tell this obscure aspects of me. I may had made a mistake in telling you those things in other time; you didn't appreciate them. You can count on me, the point is that I feel that it is not in both directions. If you showed this rejection since the first day we had a chat, maybe I would never appreciated you and it would be easier and more understandable.

As my dad told me once: "sometimes the others doesn't feel the same joy you feel when you see them".

In The End

-Good bye, see you later.
ME:- (sarcastically) Ajá (why in the hell would I see you later if you reject every attempt from my side of seeing you, my cute friend?, are you taking me as a jerk?, I even tried to call you today, I sent you an sms, I wanted to have a chat with you and you have virtually rejected it like 5 or 8 times; I called you twice yesterday, you were in the list of people I really wanted to see while I was in Cordoba and you didn't even take the calls; don't be ridiculous, you don't like me and I won't see you later cause you like to avoid me; only for my cultural baggage, I'd like to know what I did wrong, in other time I wasn't so annoying to you, I even thought that you like me as a friend, cheetos that other time was only like six months ago: maybe you only were being hypocrite and I stupidly trusted you).

Perdonen el inglés.